Monday 28th June, 2010

The Year of the Geek - Why it's cooler than ever to be a geek in 2010


"The rise of the computer geek has got a lot to do with glasses."

Gone are the days when people who knew how to use a computer were shunned by society. Now adays if you don't know how to cartoonify your boyfriend and upload him to Facebook using your toaster, you're considered somewhat of a numpty.

Granted, the rise of the computer geek has got a lot to do with glasses getting sexier. Back in the 80s and early 90s the standard geek attire was chunky round goggles. Now all those nights under the duvet with torchlit Douglas Adams books can be disguised with contact lenses or some Gucci frames. But the real rise of the geek is due to our own determination to make our little niche matter. When a 20th century geek sat in a corner with his Specrum animating a stick figure, (s)he was also thinking "This little machine will change the world." And it did. Due to pioneering uber-nerds, IT is now impossible to ignore.

During the last five years the more able computer users have been able to make short films, start their own clubs and societies via the Internet and make profit through selling things in online auctions. When you're buying a round of drinks for the cast of your next short film using proceeds from eBay, suddenly being a geek doesn't seem so dull.

10 of my favourite geeks

1. Self-proclaimed geek, Goth Dave plays online chess, well.

2. Kaitlin started blogging before it became the new black.

3. Avi has both a PhD and a boyfriend who models.

4. DP, a former CivII player, recently purchased a pair of designer specs.

5. Kate works in IT and starred in a music video "Don't you want more be-ee-ee-r."

6. Joel, once a computer science student, went on to become a loving husband and father.

7. Therese and Stephen were ahead of their time, when they met online in 1996.

8. Shane decribes himself as a "doorway to geekdom."

9. Med once made an animations of Sonic the Hedgehog waving his finger, using PC Paintbrush

10. Alex can still remember his ICQ number.

Geeks can now blend seamlessly into society. Tom, 20, from Exeter spotted a known geek just this morning wearing "cut-off jean shorts and a cycling-brand t-shirt, with custom Oakley's" and Suzi, 21, from Plymouth saw another one in "shorts and shades." I myself own a dress that has been described as "quite sexy" and some boots by a doctor who I suspect, doesn't really have a PhD.

Incredibly, given how we started out, geeks now have sex lives that don't involve straining necks so that ASCII code 56 looks like some tits. This is largely thought to be due to the evaporating stigma surrounding dweebism - people no longer think of us as asexual but as passionate beings capable of face-to-face contact, and where that's not possible, we're proficient at exploiting long-distance-relationship-enhancing technologies such as the webcam. Some even believe that geeks are romantically superior. One beauty expert offered "Geeks age slowly owing to summers spent inside using computers, while others were absorbing harmful sun-rays." One girl expressed that she dates only classic 90s geeks because they have experienced repression and are therefore "get feminism." Others are attracted to the geek's sharp intellect. It is not unheard of for a geek to marry.


"It is not unheard of for a geek to marry."

Professional geeks tend to earn more compared with their less geeky classmates, largely because IT turned out to be a much safer bet than joining a band or becoming a professional footballer. Being last to be picked for P.E. leaves a lasting bruise on the memory of any geek, but the 100K programming salary helps to take the edge off the pain.

Whilst many were surprised to see their local Warhammer champion drive past in a Porsche with a hot blonde wrapped around him, to others the rise of the geek was no shock. Kate, 28, from Sheffield, predicted it years ago but nobody believed her. Incidentally, she also foresaw dungarees coming back into fashion - so get buying.


"Goth Dave plays online chess, well."

We are used to seeing trendies glued to their iPhones, but would a hardcore retro-geek be seen dead in the Armani shoes of a modern chic geek? Long before Facebook, Skype and Twitter there was IRC and the Linux / Unix Command: talk. There was something satisfying about being the first to know what ROFL meant. It was like a secret code for the select few. Now LOL and IMHO are modern cliches popular with the geek's natural nemesis - the "chav." Popular websites make everything so easy - a click here, a drag there - a traditional geek was willing to suffer for his cause. To this day, a true geek cannot pass a chicken without a little shudder, as nobody ever truly escapes being exposed to platform game Chuckie Egg during those fragile childhood years.

Being a geek is so trendy that everyone is trying to jump on the bandwagon. It's painful to watch an individual with no natural geek factor upload a video clip of itself miming to Beyonce, taken in the orientation: portrait! Yes, they may want a piece of the action now, but where was the groom who now wants a consult on how to photoshop out his receding hairline and wife's beard, when we begged him not to steal our dinner money in 1993?

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4 Comments

hee hee! thanks for the mention! never thought about how much of a comp geek i really was back in uni, but actually i TOTALLY was! did i mention that i used to schedule my life around fanfiction! :P

Posted by Therese on Saturday 3rd July, 2010 at 10:11

oh yeah...didn't mention that it was x-files fanfic!

Posted by Therese on Saturday 3rd July, 2010 at 10:12

Hee hee! If I'd known that I'd have written about you in bold. ;-)

Posted by Sha on Saturday 3rd July, 2010 at 12:27

It would appear we are taking over world, only the evil empire(Apple) to beat..lol thanks Sha :)

Posted by Shane on Wednesday 21st July, 2010 at 18:00

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