Tragic Publications - Prediction Magazine

Once in a while I treat myself to a magazine that promises to be complete and utter rubbish just for amusement's sake.

Prediction - Your mystical guide to life, love and the future looked like the perfect companion for an irritable, overheated insomniac intent on finding something to tear to shreds, so I plucked one off the shelf and slipped it into my basket before anyone could spot me holding a magazine boasting the slogan "5 surefire summer love spells."

Big Brother feng shui, Is your cat a mind reader? and How do you doodle - what your scribbles say about you are just some of the articles that this mystical magazine has to offer.

Readers will be pleased to know that according to How psychic are you? on page 8, my psychic capabilities are already well developed. I ascertained this exciting fact by answering yes to at least four statements such as

• Sometimes your phone rings and you know who's calling before you answer it
• Out of the blue you remember someone that you haven't seen for ages and later that day they phone you
• You occasionally notice a change of atmosphere in a room
• You are often aware of other people's emotions even if they don't express them openly

Whilst most of the items were things that any reasonably intuitive person would have to agree with, my favourite statement has to be

• You often hear unexplained voices

How unwise it is when doctors to assume someone has a mental health problem when it turns out they were just psychic all along.

The magazine include a little astrology, reminding me that Scorpios can keep a secret like no other sign. They're right of course, nobody is as crap at keeping secrets as I am. According to my horoscopes my lucky dates for August are 2nd, 4th, 8th, 11th, 19th, 20th, 25th and 29th. I shall assess these days for luck value throughout the month and let you know how I get on.

I have to admit I was genuinely interested in one short article which informed me that Google Earth has unearthed a 40 metre profanity on maps of Yorkshire (search for Billingley) but I'm not sure what that has to do with mysticism.

As is the case with most magazines, the articles do not cite their sources which is a shame because I was very curious about a statement that I found in an article dissing science.

A chicken can run around, completely headless, for several days - one specimen lived for 18 months.

The article writer, CJ Stone, points out that it would have been hard for the headless chicken to eat but still doesn't question the finding!

Don't read Prediction if you want answers to the big questions (it lists these for you on page 13 in case you are confused: Why am I here?, What is my purpose on this earth? and Does the barmaid fancy me?) but if you need to know the answer to mysteries such as Is Parsley Unlucky and Is there a spell I can cast to make my cheating partner tell the truth? then this is the magazine for you.

See also Psychologies for a Richer, Shinier Life

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