Leave Oxford students alone - 10 Myths about them

The press hang around Oxford students like hungry crocodiles, waiting for one to get their feet wet. Whenever they find a tenuous link between a news item and Oxford University, they can't help but slip it into the headline, relevant or not. As a consequence we read:

• "Oxford University student fined £80 for dropping matchstick on the pavement"
• "Oxford University under fire over lewd banana game in student election"
• "Oxford Student didn't say 'slaughter the Jews'"

Begging the questions, would the press consider these events newsworthy if they hadn't happened to Oxford students? And if so, would they bother to mention where the person featured was educated?

Likewise, the public seem to be delighted when somebody from Oxford makes a mistake, giving rise to Facebook pages like

• "97% Of Oxford University students didn't get this, but most todlers did"

Why do you hate them so much? Why do you want them to fall flat on their faces? What did Oxford ever do to hurt you? (Aside from the odd insufferable politician who would have been insufferable wherever it had been educated.)

Here are 10 myths about Oxford students:

1. Oxford students think they're better than everybody else

If Oxford teaches you anything, it's that you don't know sh*t. You are set more work than is conceivably possible to complete and in exams, the bar is set so high that even those getting firsts only get just over 70%. Therefore you're always aware that you could do better. Likewise, there usually is somebody doing better. Perhaps some people do come to Oxford thinking that they're better than everybody else, having been top of their class at school, but they are rudely awoken in first week when suddenly they're, most likely, middle of the class.

2. Oxford students actually are better than everybody else

A person's worth is not measured by their level of eduction, but let's pretend for about 4 sentences that it is: there are 10-20 excellent universities in the UK, and many others which excel in particular fields. Yes, some universities do set higher academic standards than others, but there are many ways to get a good education besides academia. Oxford and Cambridge are two bloody good institutions but it's their fame which sets them apart from the other top universities, not their standard of education.

3. Oxford students all want the world to remain old-fashioned

Tourists and television show all the old building and traditions, but how often do they look at the science area where cutting-edge research is going on? Yes, there are some subjects which change slowly but many disciplines, like psychology are constantly changing. Research is always moving forwards - many post-grads find that their theses are out of date before they have had a chance to finish them. Why are students going to Oxford to learn from progressive researchers, and carrying out their own progressive research, if they are resistant to change?

4. Oxford students all vote Tory

Yeah, right.

5. Oxford students are all the same

The student body is very diverse and has societies for people from a wide variety of different backgrounds with a wide variety of interests, e.g. Acapella groups, Aussie rules football, Ageaid and Afrisoc (and that's just from page 'A.') There are a lot of public school folk about, but probably not as many as most people would think. There are 38 colleges, all with very different subcultures. There is also a massive intake of students from all over the world, which forces individuality.

6. You have to be super-super clever to get into Oxford

Not true. Being super-super clever is one way in. Being a bit clever and very charismatic is another. Being a bit clever and very lucky on interview day is also a valid and common entry method.

7. Everyone from Oxford goes on to be an insufferable politician

Not: Rowan Atkinson, Michael Palin, Emelia Fox, Tom Ward, Kate Beckinsale, Katy Brand, Matthew Pinsent, Tim Henman, Angus Deayton, Armando Iannucci, Helen and Olly, Josie Long and around 400,000 other living people.

8. Oxford is one big dirty orgy

As a result of Oxfordoniaphobia, the press have seen fit to highlight every single student with a crazy fetish or drunken run-in with a banana. No doubt there are students (and fellows) with a wide variety of sexual desires, unfulfilled or otherwise, but isn't that the case everywhere? And in my 5 years as a student, I never once saw anyone stuff a whole orange into their mouth for sexual pleasure.

9. Everyone who goes to Oxford is rich

If only.

10. Everyone gets murdered in Oxford

Unsurprisingly, a university which offers degrees that require a lot of writing, contains a lot of people who like writing. Naturally a certain proportion of these go on to write fiction and a popular genre is crime. People tend to set fiction in places they know well, thus Oxford is a very busy and dangerous place for a fictional person to live, but a real one is generally quite safe.

Perhaps I'm a little biassed, having been to Oxford, but that does mean that I've met at least 1,000 Oxford students, putting me in a much better position to describe them than most of the people who try to.

There are smug Oxford students and modest Oxford students, kinky ones and straight-laced ones, happy ones and sad ones, sensible ones and foolish ones... So exactly how surprising is it, that every so often, one in 20,000 students does something a little quirky?

20,000 people all stepping in time? Now that would be something for the nation to fear.

2 Comments

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Posted by Helen D on Friday 12th March, 2010 at 18:26

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